Winning!

Has anyone ever called Peace Corps service boring? I know that on a given day (or month, thank you Ramadan), volunteers may have nothing better to do than watch Star Trek Deep Space Nine in its' entirety, but for the most part the roller coaster of ups, down and inbetweens keeps you on your toes. After a weekend of sleepless nights, avoiding the front door and ignoring my telephone, I felt sane enough to once again start my work week. 

Tuesday morning began with two hours of tutoring and Arabic script at the local cafe. Studying script simultaneously gets me really excited for a new challenge and makes my brain feel like it is melting. While thrilled to be advancing, an additional layer of confusion has indeed been added to my life. At one point, we discussed the word for horse in English, French, Darija, Arabic and Berber. Do I really need to talk about horses in five different languages? I don't even like them that much (sorry mom). After two hours my tutor looked over and casually remarked "I think that is enough for one day?" Following my caffeine high and solid progress, my mind had finally gone blank. Noises, letters, vowels and sentences no longer made any sense to me. I left the cafe mumbling incoherently but still high from the linguistic aerobics of my morning. 

After a brief telephone call with a nearby volunteer, I made the trek to my host family's home. It had been nearly two weeks since we had a meal together and I genuinely missed their smiling faces. While my host mother (who is probably only a few years older than me) baked fried dough with meat and inquired about my love for omelets, we talked about my recent kitchen fire and the exhaustion of constant travel. She speaks rapid fire Darija, but I adore her. Lunch was a blast - my host sister stole part of my omelet and talked quietly to herself while walking over my lap, my host brother decided to eat a whole tomato with salt instead of the actual lunch, and I gabbed on with my host parents. When the time for afternoon aerobics rolled around, I was disappointed to leave. It's still an unusual enough feeling that I cherish those fleeting moments in Morocco.

Aerobics is one of my favorite classes to teach. I teach between 8-10 women in my host family's tae-kwon-do studio three days per week. Initially I was unsure if my routines were too difficult for the women, but they keep coming back and the numbers have been increasing - I must be doing something right! Tuesday's class included a mix of salsa, hip thrusts, belly dancing, carnaval routines, kick-boxing, strength training and yoga. The Pitbull-inspired hip thrusts were a rather new addition to the workout - pretty sure I am going to get "that reputation" in the neighborhood soon. Come take aerobics class with the American stripper! By the end of class, I am drenched in sweat and grinning. I only hope they love it as much as I do.

Shortly after class a friend came over to my apartment to learn guitar, make a music video to Justin Bieber and use my Internet. It happens. We ended the day together with Moroccan pancakes and conversation about what makes a speech effective. Boushra informed me that my personality is "great" and I should be an actress - I must admit that I loved the comment! No matter the challenges here, it's so encouraging when you are given positive feedback. Happy sigh.

Not content to end my day at 8 pm, I proceeded to put together ballin' lesson plans and jam to the Beatles until bed called. Delightful evening conversations rounded out my day perfectly and I settled into bed feeling grateful for Tazarine and the opportunities I have been given to work here. I'm sure the rest of my week will be full of another round of ups, downs and inbetweens, but I like a life that is full of surprises. Only boring people get bored. 

Sleepyhead

My week experienced through "10 signs you may be sleep deprived"

 

1) Inability to Handle Stress - Upon returning to Tazarine this week, it took me 24 hours to go buy eggs and milk. Not because it's particularly far, but because I didn't want to have the standard conversation of "where have you disappeared to" after traveling for three days. Routine activities feel exhausting and new challenges are overwhelming instead of exciting. My inability to handle stress isn't great timing. As a fun experiment this week, I took the Holmes and Rahe Stress Test to gauge my level of stress over the past year. Give my score of 490, I am well above a healthy level and am likely to become ill or have a mental breakdown in the near future. Do they have an additional test where they track your stress levels after being told you will likely have a breakdown soon!?

2) Poor Memory - I started to compose four other blogs this afternoon, unfortunately I can't remember the subject matter or why they were interesting. Over skype, my brother-in-law asked me how the travel home from Spain went but I still can't picture anything between Marrakesh and the desert. How was your day? Good? I think? What did I do again? During my tutoring session, the Arabic term for 'worker's union' took me over 10 hours to recall. I can't remember the last time I got a good night's sleep. Countless forgotten names, dates, places, words, promises - I should be writing this down.

3) Inability to Concentrate - This week's tutoring sessions on the Arab Spring and Moroccan politics should have been my favorite ones yet, but I could hardly pay attention to what my tutor was saying. What was the question again? Listening to Darija and French was a joke, is that a squirrel? I can't focus enough to read, study or practice guitar. Even movies are lost of me: I started and stopped them constantly because I was staring past the screen instead of processing the subject matter. Even my conversational skills in English have rapidly diminished and my father delicately had to tell me "you look exhausted, go to bed."

4) Increased Appetite - I can't do much damage on this front given my desert resources, but pretty sure I would eat an entire bakery if they let me. It helps that I keep burning everything I cook because I get distracted/forget what I am doing (see #2,3,6). I did hide my extensive supply of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I know better than to leave the 1 lb gems lying around at a time like this.

5) Vision Problems - Thankfully I am not allowed to drive and have yet to be named as the head of 'Taz Construction;' however, I walked past several friends on the street without recognizing them and nearly punched a woman in the face during aerobics. A cockroach walked along my bed for minutes before I registered it was an invader. Should my eyes be burning so much? I think I am increasingly developing vampire tendencies, please pull the shades. 

6) Poor Decision-making - I lit my kitchen on fire, burnt bread, destroyed granola, used lighters next to open gas tanks, and chose to spend my time watching both "The Bachelor" and the final Twilight film. I should have a legal guardian appointed immediately.

7) Diminished Motor Skills - Anyone noticed how impossible it is too make the correct sounds? As I started relearning Arabic script, I was shocked by my mouth's inability to reproduce noises I had mastered in the past year, let alone to learn new difficult ones, used in standard Arabic but largely absent in Darija. My stairway conversations in French and Darija have sounded little more than random muttering - I wonder if the other participants walk away as confused as I do? The throat's rebellion continues.

8) Relationship Troubles - Invited for dinner? Invited for tea? Invited for a weekend getaway? Everyone in my community got the same answer this week, "I am tired, another time." Even the most loving families were ignored as I stumbled back into my apartment, desperate for another round of shut eye. Couscous and leben, we are never ever, getting back together.

9) Medical Problems - Nearly passed out/felt like I needed to vomit during this week's women's aerobics classes, been fighting a constant headache for the last three days and continue to feel 'under the weather' and otherwise exhausted. I feel like I aged 50 years overnight but still refuse to stop dancing with older women three days per week. They will understand when I pass out and vomit simultaneously, wouldn't be the first time in Morocco!

10) Mood Swings - Multiple times this week I have flipped from tears of laughter to tears of frustration and loss. These swings are starting to stabilize, leaving me in more of constant state of "duuuuur" rather than an exciting roller coaster pattern. Fleeting moments of "obviously I want to come teach you how to conjugate verbs for the next four months" are replaced with "I'll see you next year, I have to run away to the beach." From brooding over Coldplay and the Civil Wars to dance party/cleaning/nervous shaking to Kesha and Bruno Mars the next, I can't quite decide which mood will stick around for more than 10 minutes.

Overall, I feel like a boring version of Kyla; shying away from challenges, turning my back on relationships and choosing facebook over exploration. I long for a peaceful eight hours of rest and a return to energy and excitement. During the week I pushed through these struggles to teach successful classes, do housework, cook, clean and even start a new project, yet I feel like a shadow of my normal self. Pretending in the hope that this is temporary, going because I can't really stop and praying that tomorrow I will wake up rested - no nightmares, no insomnia, no headache. I want me back. Fingers crossed.